3. Almost a Crappy Love Story June2020
22 June 2020
Almost a Crappy Love Story - the story of My Dream last night
Re-Write for Reading:
22 june 2020 - around 5-6am
(1st dream) - BREAKUP
in my dream, i am a 51 year old chinese single mother, just as i am in real life in this point of time.
i was "living" in the body of a slim teenage indian/sikh girl who wears her long hair in 2 long plaits - very typical of a young indian girl, but also similar to a chinese girl of the same age. i'm guessing she's around 14, the age when i first felt like a teenager. this girl is innocent, sweet and very simple. we have a good relationship, not so mother and daughter type of relationship, more like a close friendship where our age gap is non-existent. i don't know her name but we're so close that i know her very well. i can even say that we love each other very much - our friendship was very special.
she's in love and just started a relationship with a slim and handsome indian teenage boy with short wavy hair. they went out on a first date, during an afternoon till the early evening, to the lively city... that looked like an European city on top of a hill, could be in greece, italy or spain - architecture wise, the buildings, roads, walls, etc were made of stone. the place was very romantic and beautiful. unfortunately, because i lived in her body, i was not able to give her any privacy during the date. i had to tag along - amazingly, she didn't mind and was pleased that i could come along too.
she's in love and just started a relationship with a slim and handsome indian teenage boy with short wavy hair. they went out on a first date, during an afternoon till the early evening, to the lively city... that looked like an European city on top of a hill, could be in greece, italy or spain - architecture wise, the buildings, roads, walls, etc were made of stone. the place was very romantic and beautiful. unfortunately, because i lived in her body, i was not able to give her any privacy during the date. i had to tag along - amazingly, she didn't mind and was pleased that i could come along too.
the date felt familiar - 2 shy teenagers going out to the city, to spend their time together. no holding hands, no hugs or kisses, no sweet nothings, no conversation, nothing romantic. feels quite platonic yet special. they were just being together, strolling & skipping through the city on the hill, enjoying the place and each other's company. very innocent.
it was evening and the boy happily skipped or danced off on his own. not telling where he's going or why or if he'll be back. he just wandered off. the girl also mysteriously disappeared inside her body. she's not asleep or distracted or day-dreaming. she simply wasn't there. i was alone in HER body and alone in this place where the boy had wandered off without me or her. i must have stood there for hours, waiting for him to return. he never did. he was gone for over 3 hours and it's already night in city. i also waited for the girl. and i tried to contact her. she was silent and unreachable. i was so alone in her body.
it became clear to me that he had left her. he had gone off and left her alone. it made me angry that he would do such a thing to her. i felt that it would hurt her to know he had left in this fashion - if she came back and knew that he had gone. if she came back at that time, i can't explain how this happened to her or account for it. i just felt that she will be badly hurt and sad. but she isn't upset yet - she doesn't know anything yet, since she's still away from her body.
i picked up her mobile and called the boy. i asked him why he left her standing in the city all alone for the last 3 hours... making her wait for him and not knowing what had happened or what to do. he didn't say anything much but i know he was listening. and then, i blurted out "let's breakup" - i used her voice and pretended to be her to ask for a breakup. i did this for her even though i didn't know if this is what she wanted.
immediately, i felt a pang of guilt for making a decision in her name and without her permission. the boy heard what i said. he had no reply but no emotion either. i couldn't tell what he was thinking or how he felt. so i quickly asked "what do you think?" but all i hear is the engaged tone. he had already hung up.
i was so agitated i walked off. someone picked me up and drove me to a multi-storey carpark that looks like SGH's carpark on the hill. i got off there and walked aimlessly. still, at that time, hours later, the girl isn't back into her body yet. i was desperate to speak to her, to tell her how sorry i am to make such a rash decision.
nothing.
she was gone.
he was gone.
and i remained in her body.
guilty and sad.
(2nd dream) - ORCHIDS
aa i wandered from the previous dream, i ended up in a housing estate.
it was evening almost night.
a car drove by and parked in front of gate of a house. 2 huge men emerged, one carrying a blowtorch. i asked what they were up to and one replied that he must burn down the orchid garden within the compound of the house. (we were outside the gates). a small crowd formed. i asked why he would burn the orchid garden and he said that "it was unhealthy". made me upset and angry, so i demanded a certificate to prove that the orchids were unhealthy. "where's the cert?" i repeated about 3 times but the men ignored me, determined to carry out their task. i tried to distract them or stop them but couldn't. they looked genuinely hired for the job. and before he lighted his blowtorch, i woke up.
22 june 2020 - around 3-3.30pm
(3rd dream) - RUBY
fell asleep while typing this out and had this amazing dream
i was at kasai road. was sitting upstairs, near the staircase. saw ruby! omg hasn't she already passed on? but she's here, standing next to the staircase! so happy to see her, that i called her. she recognised me and ran over to greet me. she was so happy that she danced around me, kissed me and stayed very close to me. i hugged her and enjoyed having her there, hoping that this moment will last a long time and she doesn't have to leave me again. i missed her as much as she missed me. what a wonderful reunion!!
 |
bunches of baby's breath at NTUC! |
saw a bunch of white baby breath flowers at the store today!
they look so gentle & sweet i almost bought them😂
i’m not crazy over flowers & i hate buying them coz they eventually wither.
but sometimes, i just love admiring them.
people seem to love the expensive ones, like lilies, sunflowers, roses
or some exotic ones like tulips or cherry blossoms.
me, i love the plain, simple and often overlooked flowers,
like little white daisies, those tiny yellow or blue weed flowers & baby’s breath.
ha. i might be a rebel after all lol
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below: what i wrote to petey, 22jun2020, 5.56am
u’re right. i should learn to relax. 🤔 hate it when i can’t sleep.
if i tell the doc, they’d give me sleeping pills. nope not taking any of those. my liver is working hard enough clearing the toxins from my meds.
had a short nap earlier and had a dream. it wasn’t relaxing. it was confrontational. but i guess i needed that to sort things out on my own. i read somewhere that dreams are the subconcious mind trying to help & solve issues that the conscious mind is unable to express or clarify. Lol what an interesting body & mind we have.
i think i dreamt about you Lol
ok time to stop talking so u can sleep.
good night petey
i’m glad u told me stuff so i can understand you better. i didnt wish for you to talk more so that u’d change from being silent or change from being who you are.
i wish u would talk so that i can understand you better. big difference.
it’s ok u’re annoyed. helps me to know you better as well.
thank you for making it gentle, calm & clear. that’s what i admire about you
-----------------------------------
below, what i wrote in skype so that i won't forget the dream...
i had a dream. i was connected to a young teenage indian girl who had an indian boyfriend. she went on a date with him and i was tagging along as i seem to share her body. but during the date, she disappeared and i am left in her body. the boy left abruptly and i felt he had done her wrong. 3-4 hours later, i called him in her body and try to breakup with him altho i’m terrified that she’ll be angry with me for deciding what’s best for her ;(
i was torn and retracted the breakup.
but he had already hung up when i asked “what do you think?”.
on the way home, there were some men who were going to torch a beautiful orchid garden at a private home. they said the orchids are "unhealthy" & they must destroy the flowers & plants by torching them down. i demanded for a cert that proves these orchids are unhealthy but the men ignored me and are proceeding with their task of destroying those orchids. some of those orchids were white. and i felt sad & helpless as i couldn't stop them from burning the plants/garden.
then i woke up before they started a fire from the blowtorches. was feeling anxious and agitated but optimistic that something unexpected might happen. not sad yet.
but i think i kinda understand this dream. it’s about you and me. i’m sure of that.
6:24 AM
RESEARCH
Some also say that when you dream of orchids, it may mean that there is a situation or relationship of great importance to you that needs much attention and care. Seeing multiples or a lush field of orchid flowers around you can mean you're about to experience great amount of wealth and riches.
Orchids Dream Symbol – Dreaming of the exotic orchid represents beauty and your deep sensitivity. ... Orchids can also mean there are things you regret. You may want to set the record straight about these. Orchids represents fertility, love, thoughtfulness, and beauty
In real life orchid is considered a woman’s flower. Seen in a dream, the flower promises luck in love and business success. The details of dream interpretation depend on the looks of the orchid and your actions with it.
It is easy to guess about the symbolism of an orchid according to Dr. Freud. The interpreter considers that this plot promises great sensual pleasure and satisfaction.
7:09 AM
oh man, i hope u won’t login here and read all my spam😂
------------below - story that doesn't work and is so crappy! --------------
Almost a Crappy Love Story
Random & Draft1 Rambling-Type Prose Writing
How dare he!
Melanie turns red.
her face almost bellowing on its own, with its own voice.
almost.
he stood her up. again.
it wasn't even her idea for this meet up. it was his.
what a freaking loser.
and would that be him or me? she thought.
she had been sitting there alone for the longest time.
almost 3 hours.
almost wishing she hadn't come.
tears almost found their way down her face.
but then, suddenly it was too late. she was too emo now.
almost tears before. but now, it flowed like a waterfall.
a pack of tissues appeared.
omg. it's that other idiot whom she's been trying to avoid.
here he is, watching her tears fall without her permission, offering tissues.
she couldn't tell if he was smirking or just mildly amused.
this is so lame. can the day be any worse then?
yes it can. almost there.
she had to start sobbing. with snort. ewwww.
almost dignified today but not gonna happen now.
she barely managed a "gonna go now" and then stood up to leave.
what she didn't expect is how she suddenly tripped and fell to the floor.
as she looked up, dazed, she saw him looking down at her.
geez. wtf.
"well, you almost made it." he said but not offering a hand.
so she slumped on the floor and sat there for a while.
"looks comfortable." he said after a long long pause.
then he picked up her phone and tried to fix it back while she sat on the floor.
she was a little stumped so she just sat there with her mouth opened.
but finally she gets up and asks for her phone.
"almost done... good thing these things can get fixed. only the outer case is a little..."
"shut up, give me."
he made her wait till he's done.
whatever he did so far, one strange thing is, she stopped crying and for some strange reason, she did not feel that crazy emo now. there was a calm. or rather, it could be a resignation, a "i give up" moment.
sometimes. there is no need for further embarrassment when the low has already been shared.
[STOP - the writing is going nowhere.]
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How Romanticism Ruined "Love"
been listening to how romanticism had ruined "love" as we know it.
this kind of romantic love - the type we have been reading in storybooks and watching in countless movies - has destroyed relationships... it seems.
to write about it, for reading or screemwriting, with it (ie "romantic love") will increase unreaslitc expectations which never should exist in the first place.
this kind of romantic love - the type we have been reading in storybooks and watching in countless movies - has destroyed relationships... it seems.
to write about it, for reading or screemwriting, with it (ie "romantic love") will increase unreaslitc expectations which never should exist in the first place.
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